Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize