they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
