why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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