capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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