so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize