Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize