dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
