My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
