Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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