Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
