I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
