Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
