i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
