I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize
