He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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