Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
