We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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