pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
this boner is exhausting
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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