hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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