this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
