She announced her abortion via fbk
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
