You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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