oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She announced her abortion via fbk
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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