It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
