I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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