Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
