when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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