i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
