Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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