READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
