Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
love makes seman taste better
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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