you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
