i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
