put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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