i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
