your thong is hanging out like whoa
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize