I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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