That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
