apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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