White coat. Heels.
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
