I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
