I think i sorta joined a cult last night
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
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