I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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