I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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