I'm really into asian looking animals
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
operation harelip BJ is a go
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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