i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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