party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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