he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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