***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
