oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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