It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I CAN MOONWALK!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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