If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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