Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
kristin has been a bad kristin
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
