Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
