I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize