I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
