everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So squirting runs in the family.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
