I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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