i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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