shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think people are normalizing furries
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
