so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
