I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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