I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
