what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
