ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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