I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
