my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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