i just wanna soil my oats bro
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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