it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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