A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
