im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
