i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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