11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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