The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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