the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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