Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
