i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize