SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The uberlube is also flammable
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
