Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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